“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not sure.”
“It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.”
I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday.
It’s not me, it’s you.
“Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy’s pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”
“I love sleep. My life has tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”
“When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.”
“Vote for the man who promises the least; He’ll be the least disappointing.”
“Politicians are people who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.”
“There are only two certainties in this world: death and taxes.”